In Part 1, we talked about the tables where your guests are seated.   Now, it’s on to place settings.

Setting a table is a simple matter of logic and symmetry.   You’ll see.

Photo by Marie Labbancz

First, let’s do a rundown of the elements that make up a table setting

PLATES

Charger (or “lay plate” or “service place”)

A charger is optional, but it is usually a terrific addition to the décor and function of service of your dinner– the bottom edge is aligned with the edge of the table.  It allows you to remove and replace salad and entrée plates while leaving an attractive plate at your setting.

Photo by Maggie Wallace Cullen

Dinner plate or luncheon plate

The large entrée plate is placed in the center of the charger.  If there is no charger, then the bottom of this plate should be placed about an inch above the edge of the table.

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Salad plate

This really all depends on whether you’re having a sit down dinner at home or a large reception. and whether you want salad served after guests sit down.  When you serve the salad you can remove the dinner plate and replace it with the salad plate with the salad already placed.

Dessert plate

I’m really not a huge fan of a lot of plates at the table when people sit down.   For dessert.  I think it’s better to remove all of the plates (except for the cup and saucer) and place the dessert plate (and spoon and/or fork) when it’s time for dessert.

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

Cups and saucers

Again, I think these should be left off the table until you’re ready to serve coffee and tea after the entrée (usually with dessert).   Cluttering up a table is never a good idea.

Bread and butter plates

I love these little plates.  I often like to do something unusual with them as an accent to the table.  Usually placed above the dinner fork (the top left of the charger), they are use to separate bread and butter from the other foods on the salad or dinner plate.   I really don’t like having the actual bread and butter sitting at each place setting when your guests arrive in the room.  Although purist North American formal at-home dining etiquette removes the bread completely (way to formalistic for me!), I believe the more lovely way to provide bread and butter to your guests is to have it served once your guests have taken their seats.  This is especially true at a large reception where you have worked so hard to plan a meticulous and beautiful look on your table – without bread and pats of butter (don’t get me started on those shaped patties of butter) impeding your beautiful tablescape.

Photo by Michael Branscom

Photo by Amanda Kraft

GLASSWARE

So, there are a myriad of types of glassware, but, for the sake of yourself and your guests (and to minimize clutter on the table), keep it to these simple three types of glassware:  water, wine and champagne (if serving champagne at the table). Drinking glasses of any kind are placed the top right of the charger or dinner plate, above the knives and spoons.

Photo by Amy Deputy

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Water goblets are the largest glasses (can also be used for ice tea, unless you want to use Tom Collins glasses).  Red wine glasses then white wine glasses follow, and finally, the champagne flutes.   The water goblet  is placed directly above the knives. Smaller glasses are placed in front.  See the diagram below.

Depending upon the kind of party you’re having, you can, of course, use whatever glassware suits your party best.  You can also include a dessert drink glass if you’re serving sherry after the meal, but again, I feel that it is better to place that glassware after the dinner service has been removed.

FLATWARE

Honestly, there’s nothing particularly interesting about flatware — it’s just about placement.

Forks go on the left, knives on the right (and, usually, spoons). After that, logic takes over.  what you use first goes on the outside  – so, the salad fork is to the outside of the dinner fork; the soup spoon goes outside of the dinner knife.   After that, it’s just a matter of symmetry,

I’ve always liked waiting until dessert is served for the dessert spoons to come out, but sometimes, it’s just not practical.   In that case, placing the dessert spoon above the plates is fine.

Oh, and the knife blade faces the plate.

Here’s a diagram for you:

A:  Salad fork

B: Dinner fork

C:  Charger

D:  Napkin (which can go onto the center of the plate or, if you have a salad plate or soup bowl, to the left of the plates

E:  Dinner Plate

F:  Dinner knife (blade facing the plate)

G:  Soup Spoon or teaspoon (If you aren’t serving soup, then for the sake of symmetry, you could place a teaspoon in its place, which could, if you choose, be used for the dessert spoon later.

H:  Butter knife

I:   Bread & butter plate

J:  Dessert spoon (if necessary)

K:  Water Goblet

L:  Red Wine glass

M:  White wine glass

N:  Champagne flute

Trust me when I tell you that none of the rules are unbreakable.   They are much more like guildelines than rules.   Sometimes the reality of what’s happening on the table makes it less attractive or functional to change things around a little.

But always remember the Golden Rule we started out with in Part I –

It’s always about the hospitality.

So whatever you do, don’t confuse your guests with unnecessary pieces.   Keep it simple and lovely and your guests will be thrilled!

There are lots and lots of other things that happen depending upon the types of food you’re serving or the type of food service.   This is just the basics of a formal dinner table.

Now relax and have an amazing time!

There really is an art to throwing a great party — whether it’s a small intimate dinner-thing at your dining room table or a reception for 300 of your closest friends.   So, here’s the next golden rule:

It’s always about hospitality

I do acknowledge that there are far more important things going on in the world than worrying about how to set a table.   I also freely admit that knowing the in’s and out’s of how to throw a great party does not make me a candidate for the next Nobel Peace Prize.

But, honestly, if you’re going to go to all the trouble of getting things together for a dinner party or a reception, don’t you think you should go to the trouble of doing it right?  I’m a huge fan of getting the details right.  It truly is what sets a great party apart from a mediocre one!

photo by Marie Labbancz

Part 1:  The Size of the Dinner Table

One of the biggest (and most annoying) mistakes people make is to place too many people at their tables.  I can’t measure your dining room table, but I can step right up on my soapbox about how many people should be seated at the standard size dinner tables used at receptions.

No matter who tells you otherwise, it is not a good idea to seat 10 people at a 60” table or 12 people at a 72” table.  Why?  Because it’s really uncomfortable and has the personal touch of an annual meeting of an insurance company.  When you’re serving your friends and family, here is your rule of thumb:  about 2’ per person (a little less is okay, but don’t fudge too much).  Most of the time, for receptions, you will be dealing with square or round tables with the following dimensions:

So, for the comfort of your guests, 60” tables should seat only 8 people and 72” tables should seat only 10 guests.  (Don’t worry about the fractions, it’s not an exact science).

Rectangular tables come in lengths from 6′ to 10′ or 12′.   The same 2′ per guest applies.   But the widths of all rectangular tables are not equal — make sure the width of your table is at least 36″ if  you plan to have anything placed down the middle of the table.

Photo by Cliff Mautner

If you need some backup on this, here’s why it works best this way:

Photo by Michael Branscom

Photo by Marie Labbancz

This is how your table should look if your guests are having a great time and they have enough room to move around:

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

photo by Maggie Wallace Cullen

There’s no way this could happen at a cramped dinner table

Photo by Maggie Wallace Cullen

If you’re having a dinner party, be realistic about the number of people who can fit comfortably sit at your table – whether your having food placed on your table or not. It’s easier to bring in tables than it is to serve between crowded guests.

Part 2 will make it easy to set a great table.

The Golden Rule of Timing a Great Party

Part 1)   The Cocktail Hour (or so).

Most large events that include a dinner and/or entertainment start with a cocktail hour (or so) prior to the festivities really getting started.   The purpose of this is several-fold.  First, it’s a time for the guests to mingle amongst themselves, get a bit to eat and start getting the sense of your celebration.   Plus (if your celebration is a wedding), it gives you time to get through photos, then do some mingling of your own.   Because I HATE receiving lines (and I really really do) and I’m not a big fan of contrived table visits, either, I think a great cocktail hour (or so) is the key to a very successful celebration.

A truly great cocktail hour depends on some key ingredients:  1)  food & drink, 2) music and 3) lighting

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

Photo by Matthew Hollerbush

Rule #1:  Have enough food and drink and make sure it’s accessible.

There is really nothing less enjoyable than standing in line for food or at the bar (unless it’s standing in a receiving line — just sayin’).  It’s great to have food stations, but make sure there are passed yummies as well.

Photo by Barnaby Draper

The same goes for the bar.   To avoid a line forming at the bar, have wine, champagne and maybe a signature drink passed.   The number of bars, bartenders and food stations is dependent on the number of guests.

Photo by Michael Branscom

Rule #2:  Your music should not be loud or too hi-energy during the cocktail hour. Remember, the primary purpose of your cocktail hour is for mingling.  I’m all in favor of really interesting, fun music that steps a bit out-of-the-box, but make sure that it doesn’t overwhelm your guests’ conversation with each other and with you!

from lapisluna.com

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Rule #3:   Great lighting creates great atmosphere.

Enough said.

Photo by Cliff Mautner

Photo by Marie Labbancz

If you’re hosting a great cocktail party, then you can stop here (obviously).   Plan to start kissing your guests goodbye after about three hours.  Otherwise, if you’re moving on to the dinner/dance portion, my favorite length of a cocktail hour (or so) is about 1 1/2 hours.   But make sure you don’t run out of anything!

See you for Part 2 soon!

Let’s go for the easy answer first:  It’s almost NEVER a problem to bring a gift to someone, silly.

To alleviate some of the guesswork for when you should bring a gift, and what kind of gift you should bring, here are a few ‘lil guidelines:

If you are attending a cocktail party at someone’s home or a holiday open house, then a gift, while certainly appreciated, is not mandatory.  It is even less necessary if the cocktail party is being held someplace other than the hosts’ home.

If you are attending a dinner party, then a small gift is probably a good idea.

If you’re just casually getting together at someone’s home for a quick bite, then probably nothing more than a side dish or dessert would be necessary — but please, please, please coordinate any food you bring with the hostess.

Will you be sleeping at your hosts’ home?  Then, by all means, you should bring a gift in appreciation of your hosts’ hospitality.

So, now for the next level of complication – what to bring?

People LOVE to bring wine.   Because I entertain as often as possible, I have a great deal of wine in my basement from my very gracious guests (stored at the perfect temperature, of course!).   I think wine is a perfectly lovely hostess gift for a dinner party or anything other than an overnight stay.

To make things even nicer, consider giving the wine in a wine carrier that your host can use for the next dinner out at a BYOB (we were given wine in a wine carrier almost four years ago and we use it to this day.  And I still remember who gave it to us.) — and maybe a beautiful wine stopper to go with it all.

Gold Hatch Wine Carrier ($10)

• But if you’d like to bring something just a little off-the-beaten-trail, allow me to suggest a few little ideas that will make people feel really appreciated:

Perhaps you could make blueberry muffins and give it to them in a lovely basket tied with a bow — and include a great hot chocolate mix for your hosts to enjoy the next morning.

I LOVE these little Salt and Pepper Shakers – We’ve watched them fly out the door this season.

Are you staying for a day or two?  I think the most wonderful gift you can give someone is the gift of relaxation.   If you’re in Philly, allow me to make a suggestion. Right here on Liberties Walk, we have Spa East — a true urban oasis with the most amazing masseuses and body treatments I have ever encountered.

And here’s the final advice –

If you’re going to bring flowers (and that’s a lovely thing to do), then please bring the vase for them. You can pick up the most amazing flowers at the Beautiful Blooms Boutique just across from us on the Walk (but you already knew that, right?) along with a beautiful vase.

Or, of course, you can choose a different amazing vase or container at the Eclatante Boutique.

Okay, that’s my advice regarding host and hostess gifts.    Have a great time!

We have another wedding to show you that was published in the latest issue of Brides Magazine  - Philadelphia.   

Small wonder Brides Magazine grabbed up this wedding almost as soon as we got the photos back from Marie Labbancz, the amazing photographer who captured this wonderful wedding PERFECTLY!   

The Team we put together to execute this wedding was incredible –  Beautiful Blooms, Two Paper Dolls, Max Hansen Catering, Marie Labbanz Photography, the Sultans of Swing and VU-Events!

Feel free to check out the amazing story behind Mindy & Ben’s super-fun wedding (complete with 1,200 handmade oragami cranes hung from the ceiling at the Crane Arts Center) in the two-part installment (Part 1 and Part 2) we posted a while back.

Be sure to get a copy of the latest issue of Brides-Philadelphia — it’s loaded with gorgeous photos and great ideas! ooooo

Okay, I don’t really mean that.   Especially since we’re lucky enough to be a block away from Brown Betty — creators of the the best cupcakes in the entire world!   One could never burn out on their cupcakes!

BUT, if you want to see what alternatives there are to cupcakes — take a look at these amazing dessert delights (churros, croissants (chocolate and otherwise), brioche and eclairs) – if this doesn’t inspire you to think outside the cake pan, nothing will!

These stunning eclairs are from Fauchon - a chic French Patisserie from where you can order these gorgeous morsels.

If you’re having an event with a Latin flair – look at the amazing delights — they’re dessert churros from Xooro (pronounced Sure-oh) — so yum!

Then again, there’s Patisserie Claude in the West Village in New York (187 W. 4th St., near Barrow St.).  The desserts there are so good it’s hard to believe it’s really possible!  Croissants,  brioche – simple things done extraordinarily well.   It would be well worth a trip to NYC to grab enough for the most amazing brunch or rehearsal dinner, dinner parties  or any other smaller gathering.   Your guests will never forget you!