While we love to create lavish, detailed and stunning affairs, there is another side to perfect hospitality.   Sometimes, creating something extraordinary can be really simple.

Case in point:  Last winter, Sara and I spent hours on fabric row playing with all sorts of beautiful material and notions as we were styling some of our upcoming celebrations.  After all the creating was complete, we had some fabric left over.  We decided to  very easy napkins out of our extra fabric to show you how simple it is to make a table extraordinary.  All the placesettings and accessories are pieces that came straight out of our kitchen cabinets.  The flowers came from my yard.   But the looks are truly special.

Geek Chic (As Maggie likes to call it!)

This napkin was super-simple to make. Just a simple swiss dot, cotton fabric, cut into squares and sewn back-to-back.

An easy summer picnic

We just tied together some flowers cut from my yard and threw them in a wood salad bowl. The effect was lovely!

Again, creating the napkin couldn't have been easier!

Breakfast at the Piazza

We thought it would be fun to just bring some things from the kitchen and set them up at the market tables under yellow umbrellas at the Piazza.   Nothing unusual going on here — except the homemade napkins.   But it really looks really special! What a lovely way to start a Sunday morning, eh?

Here, we simply used a contrasting fabric for the reverse side.

It’s hot.   Really really hot.  So hot that no one can speak an intelligible sentence about anything that doesn’t include the words “heat, oppressive, humidity or TURN UP THE DAMN A/C!!”

Aside from the beach (or the “shore,” depending on where you reside), there really are some wonderful things that only happen when the temperature rises above the tolerable. So, rather than dwell on the heat, let’s focus on the great things about summer and how to translate them into a wonderful summer party with friends. The key to a great summer fiesta:  SIMPLICITY.  I’m from the south (kinda), and there we learned at an early age that slow and easy is the path to great hospitality in the summer sun.

What to serve

WATERMELON!   I literally crave it — virtually without calories and certainly without fat, it is nature’s reward for not succumbing to road rage when you’re stuck in traffic on the way to the beach (a/k/a the “shore”).

There simply is no such thing as a great summer party without watermelon — in any form at all.   But here’s a great way to enjoy watermelon after hours (or, as my father used to say — “it’s noon somewhere!”)

Navan Watermelon Daquiri

Ingredients per serving

(make ahead of time in a pitcher and let it get really cold before serving)

• 1/2 oz  Navan (in case Navan is new to you, it’s a fabulous vanilla liqueur — better than any other — trust me on this)
• 1 oz 10Cane Rum
• 3 nice big chunks of fresh watermelon
• 1/2 oz Part simple syrup
• 1/4 oz freshly squeezed lemon juice

Muddle the watermelon.  Add Navan, 10Cane Rum, simple syrup and lemon juice.  Shake over ice and strain into a chilled martini glass (from pitcher).

What to place

Then, to continue to keep things as simple as possible, Mother Nature gives us the most charming flowers for the table that require no effort at all to be perfect!  When I see daisies in mason jars on a simply set table, it conjours up my favorite summer memories on picnic benches with the fam.   I have to admit, as simple as they are, there is just nothing as sweet and pretty as the white daisies that grow abundantly all summer long.   I just love them.

What to wear

And finally, while we’re spending a hot summer day, we must know that there’s just nothing more comfortable than a simple cotton sundress (this one is by Betsey Johnson) adorned with nothing but this wonderful straw hat we found at J.Crew.

Of course, I can’t help but add some flair to the ensemble by placing one of our great Emersonmade flowers (from the Eclatante Boutique) on the sun hat.   But that’s just me.

Men don’t really get to play too much when it comes to wedding fashion, although there is some changes on the horizon out there (more on that later, I promise!).   Meanwhile, there is some fun to be had when choosing a great tie.    Don’t just settle for quick black or silver tie that works with the tux — have some fun with it!

www.etsy.com/shop/toybreaker

http://www.etsy.com/shop/MeandMatilda

Personally (shhhh! Don’t tell my florist friends) I REALLY love pocket squares.   Take a walk into a great fabric shop on Fabric Row in Old City and find a fabulous silk the works beautifully with the ties you’ve chosen.   If you’re anything like me, you’ll need to get your favorite seamstress to create the very easy pocket squares; or, maybe, you make them yourself.   I LOVE a great combination between a phenomenal tie and a perfectly coordinated pocket square. A note on form:  It is not cool to have your guys wear both a boutonniere and a pocket square.

(I’m really trying hard not to say the words “hip to be square.”)

When folding a pocket square, don’t let it get to complicated.  You’ll want to be able to replicate the fold easily.

Then again, wouldn’t it be cool to combine both?

from junebugweddings.com/blog

And don’t forget about how much fun you can have with cufflinks.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/cufflinks

***

And we love these great cufflinks Zack wore at his wedding last June.  PERFECT for him:

Photo by Laura Eaton

Have a great time putting your guys’ attire together!

Lucky Faye!   Her wedding gown will be custom-designed and created  by the famous couture dress designer and dressmaker,  Janice Martin. The gown is now down to two stunning designs.   And you get to choose which one Faye will wear on her wedding day!

When we last talked about the planning of Faye & Matt’s wedding, you were asked to vote on the invitation by Two Paper Dolls.   And the winner is:

Now, we’re on the wedding gown, and so far, the voting has been unbelievable.   The dam has opened and votes are pouring in.

At their first meeting, Faye and Janice got to know each other so that Janice could design the dress to not only to suit Faye’s beauty and style, but her personality as well.  Eclatante was there for the fittings of the muslin versions of each evolution of Janice’s designs. We were so impressed by Janice’s compassion and ability to figure out exactly where to begin and how to make Faye feel completely at ease with the process.  By the time Faye’s gown is complete, there is absolutely no doubt that it will be a one-of-kind couture wedding gown that was made to fit and suit Faye absolutely perfectly.

These two drawings depict the two designs by Janice that were created for Faye.

GOWN #1

This is a halter style fitted gown with a layered train. The fabric will be a cotton/silk blend and the gown will have a slight blue cast to it. The train starts higher in the front, lower in the back. The dress may have small covered buttons down back of gown. The train is of layers of chiffon or organza, so that each layer will “flow” or “float” evoking waves. The gown may also have a blue sash at waist to complement the bridesmaids dresses. Blue was chosen for two reasons:  First, Faye’s amazing eyes; and, second,  because the ceremony will take place at  the rotunda that juts out onto the water outside the Independent Seaport Museum.   The effect of this gown is “light and airy”. The halter style gives Faye’s figure support and her shoulders more definition.

Gown #2:

Same silhouette as Gown #1, but is a strapless fitted gown of shirred silk satin. This is a much more “formal” fabric. The train is layered with a “bubble” type effect, so that overall the gown would be more sculptural and elegant.  Both gowns are very “body conscious” so either will show off Faye’s lovely curves. Both gowns will feature blue in the construction to give depth and richness to the gown and flatter Faye’s skin tone and eyes!

So, just like you did with the invitations (thank you!), please log onto Philly.com/weddings to cast your vote for either Gown #1 or Gown #2.   Hurry, though.   Faye is very anxious to find out which gown is hers!!

Next time, you’ll be asked to choose between two amazing centerpieces from Beautiful Blooms.

In Part 1, we talked about the tables where your guests are seated.   Now, it’s on to place settings.

Setting a table is a simple matter of logic and symmetry.   You’ll see.

Photo by Marie Labbancz

First, let’s do a rundown of the elements that make up a table setting

PLATES

Charger (or “lay plate” or “service place”)

A charger is optional, but it is usually a terrific addition to the décor and function of service of your dinner– the bottom edge is aligned with the edge of the table.  It allows you to remove and replace salad and entrée plates while leaving an attractive plate at your setting.

Photo by Maggie Wallace Cullen

Dinner plate or luncheon plate

The large entrée plate is placed in the center of the charger.  If there is no charger, then the bottom of this plate should be placed about an inch above the edge of the table.

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Salad plate

This really all depends on whether you’re having a sit down dinner at home or a large reception. and whether you want salad served after guests sit down.  When you serve the salad you can remove the dinner plate and replace it with the salad plate with the salad already placed.

Dessert plate

I’m really not a huge fan of a lot of plates at the table when people sit down.   For dessert.  I think it’s better to remove all of the plates (except for the cup and saucer) and place the dessert plate (and spoon and/or fork) when it’s time for dessert.

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

Cups and saucers

Again, I think these should be left off the table until you’re ready to serve coffee and tea after the entrée (usually with dessert).   Cluttering up a table is never a good idea.

Bread and butter plates

I love these little plates.  I often like to do something unusual with them as an accent to the table.  Usually placed above the dinner fork (the top left of the charger), they are use to separate bread and butter from the other foods on the salad or dinner plate.   I really don’t like having the actual bread and butter sitting at each place setting when your guests arrive in the room.  Although purist North American formal at-home dining etiquette removes the bread completely (way to formalistic for me!), I believe the more lovely way to provide bread and butter to your guests is to have it served once your guests have taken their seats.  This is especially true at a large reception where you have worked so hard to plan a meticulous and beautiful look on your table – without bread and pats of butter (don’t get me started on those shaped patties of butter) impeding your beautiful tablescape.

Photo by Michael Branscom

Photo by Amanda Kraft

GLASSWARE

So, there are a myriad of types of glassware, but, for the sake of yourself and your guests (and to minimize clutter on the table), keep it to these simple three types of glassware:  water, wine and champagne (if serving champagne at the table). Drinking glasses of any kind are placed the top right of the charger or dinner plate, above the knives and spoons.

Photo by Amy Deputy

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Water goblets are the largest glasses (can also be used for ice tea, unless you want to use Tom Collins glasses).  Red wine glasses then white wine glasses follow, and finally, the champagne flutes.   The water goblet  is placed directly above the knives. Smaller glasses are placed in front.  See the diagram below.

Depending upon the kind of party you’re having, you can, of course, use whatever glassware suits your party best.  You can also include a dessert drink glass if you’re serving sherry after the meal, but again, I feel that it is better to place that glassware after the dinner service has been removed.

FLATWARE

Honestly, there’s nothing particularly interesting about flatware — it’s just about placement.

Forks go on the left, knives on the right (and, usually, spoons). After that, logic takes over.  what you use first goes on the outside  – so, the salad fork is to the outside of the dinner fork; the soup spoon goes outside of the dinner knife.   After that, it’s just a matter of symmetry,

I’ve always liked waiting until dessert is served for the dessert spoons to come out, but sometimes, it’s just not practical.   In that case, placing the dessert spoon above the plates is fine.

Oh, and the knife blade faces the plate.

Here’s a diagram for you:

A:  Salad fork

B: Dinner fork

C:  Charger

D:  Napkin (which can go onto the center of the plate or, if you have a salad plate or soup bowl, to the left of the plates

E:  Dinner Plate

F:  Dinner knife (blade facing the plate)

G:  Soup Spoon or teaspoon (If you aren’t serving soup, then for the sake of symmetry, you could place a teaspoon in its place, which could, if you choose, be used for the dessert spoon later.

H:  Butter knife

I:   Bread & butter plate

J:  Dessert spoon (if necessary)

K:  Water Goblet

L:  Red Wine glass

M:  White wine glass

N:  Champagne flute

Trust me when I tell you that none of the rules are unbreakable.   They are much more like guildelines than rules.   Sometimes the reality of what’s happening on the table makes it less attractive or functional to change things around a little.

But always remember the Golden Rule we started out with in Part I –

It’s always about the hospitality.

So whatever you do, don’t confuse your guests with unnecessary pieces.   Keep it simple and lovely and your guests will be thrilled!

There are lots and lots of other things that happen depending upon the types of food you’re serving or the type of food service.   This is just the basics of a formal dinner table.

Now relax and have an amazing time!

There really is an art to throwing a great party — whether it’s a small intimate dinner-thing at your dining room table or a reception for 300 of your closest friends.   So, here’s the next golden rule:

It’s always about hospitality

I do acknowledge that there are far more important things going on in the world than worrying about how to set a table.   I also freely admit that knowing the in’s and out’s of how to throw a great party does not make me a candidate for the next Nobel Peace Prize.

But, honestly, if you’re going to go to all the trouble of getting things together for a dinner party or a reception, don’t you think you should go to the trouble of doing it right?  I’m a huge fan of getting the details right.  It truly is what sets a great party apart from a mediocre one!

photo by Marie Labbancz

Part 1:  The Size of the Dinner Table

One of the biggest (and most annoying) mistakes people make is to place too many people at their tables.  I can’t measure your dining room table, but I can step right up on my soapbox about how many people should be seated at the standard size dinner tables used at receptions.

No matter who tells you otherwise, it is not a good idea to seat 10 people at a 60” table or 12 people at a 72” table.  Why?  Because it’s really uncomfortable and has the personal touch of an annual meeting of an insurance company.  When you’re serving your friends and family, here is your rule of thumb:  about 2’ per person (a little less is okay, but don’t fudge too much).  Most of the time, for receptions, you will be dealing with square or round tables with the following dimensions:

So, for the comfort of your guests, 60” tables should seat only 8 people and 72” tables should seat only 10 guests.  (Don’t worry about the fractions, it’s not an exact science).

Rectangular tables come in lengths from 6′ to 10′ or 12′.   The same 2′ per guest applies.   But the widths of all rectangular tables are not equal — make sure the width of your table is at least 36″ if  you plan to have anything placed down the middle of the table.

Photo by Cliff Mautner

If you need some backup on this, here’s why it works best this way:

Photo by Michael Branscom

Photo by Marie Labbancz

This is how your table should look if your guests are having a great time and they have enough room to move around:

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

photo by Maggie Wallace Cullen

There’s no way this could happen at a cramped dinner table

Photo by Maggie Wallace Cullen

If you’re having a dinner party, be realistic about the number of people who can fit comfortably sit at your table – whether your having food placed on your table or not. It’s easier to bring in tables than it is to serve between crowded guests.

Part 2 will make it easy to set a great table.

The Golden Rule of Timing a Great Party

Part 2)   An amazing party.

If you read Part 1 of this little series, which included Rules #1 – #3, you know it’s all about the critical, albeit invisible, element of timing.

Rule #4:  Let the opening of the doors to the reception signal the beginning of your great celebration.

After an hour and a half of  mingling with old friends, drinking wonderful beverages and eating scrumptious and creative hors d’oeuvres and short plates, your guests should be feeling the anticipation of the great party in store for them. When you open the doors, they should be stepping into something new —   the music goes up several notches, the lighting moves to a whole different level and the decor gives them all that they’ve been waiting for.   What your guests see and hear should reflect your unique style and vision. Creating this new enthusiasm will inspire your guests to have a great time.

Photo by Mike Kehr

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

Photo by Cliff Mautner

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Rule #5)  Once your guests enter the reception, standing around is not an option.

Recently, we did something very fun.  Instead of introducing the bride and groom in the typical way, the bride and groom were dancing (perfectly lit, of course) when the doors were opened.  All the guests surrounded the dance floor. After a short time, the guests were invited to join the bride and groom at which point, they instantly became part of the party. That’s the goal.  You want to engage your guests into your party as soon as they walk in the door.

To accomplish that, remember this:  If nothing is happening, then your guests will do nothing.  But if there’s something to be paid attention to, they will. Nothing will deflate the enthusiasm for your party like downtime.  If that means you need to line up your wedding party for introductions right away, then make sure your wedding party isn’t hanging out in the bathroom.

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Rule #6)  Do not front load your party with a succession of  toasts and speeches.

Honestly, just don’t do it.   Almost no one is entertaining enough to keep your guests interested for more than three minutes.  ”Leave them wanting more” will never be more true than it is here.  If you must have several toasts, then space them out throughout your party.

Rule #7) Do something fun and different at some point in your party.

This can take on several forms, and should take not up a lot of time (do you see a theme here?).    Here are just a few suggestions.

Photo by Amy Deputy

Photo by Mike Kehr

Photo by Amy Deputy

Rule #8) The bandleader or DJ is not the final word on how your party should flow.

Don’t get me wrong, a good bandleader or DJ will know how to keep your party moving and energized. And will do everything possible to make sure it all happens right.  We know and work with some of the best musicians and DJ’s around, and they will take the flow of your party very seriously.  But there are some things they just don’t know because they’re not you and they’re not your planner (don’t get me started on band agencies that claim to be planners).   Furthermore, it’s perfectly okay to want a different kind of party than what that particular band is used to playing. For instance, most bandleaders don’t know when the photographer has left the room and wouldn’t think to delay the cake cutting until the photographer returns. (And yes, this is an extremely good reason to have a good, experienced planner on board).

Photos by Marie Labbancz

Rule #9) Be flexible.

Sometimes things just happen that are completely unexpected, which may require that things get moved around a little.  Do not let this upset you; some of the best experiences are borne from game day decisions made in the face of some unforeseeable happenstance.

Rule #10)  Leave them wanting more (the Golden Rule).

No more than four hours after the cocktail hour (or so) began, you should be saying your goodbyes.

Okay, that’s it.  Have an EXTRAORDINARY party!!!

The Golden Rule of Timing a Great Party

Part 1)   The Cocktail Hour (or so).

Most large events that include a dinner and/or entertainment start with a cocktail hour (or so) prior to the festivities really getting started.   The purpose of this is several-fold.  First, it’s a time for the guests to mingle amongst themselves, get a bit to eat and start getting the sense of your celebration.   Plus (if your celebration is a wedding), it gives you time to get through photos, then do some mingling of your own.   Because I HATE receiving lines (and I really really do) and I’m not a big fan of contrived table visits, either, I think a great cocktail hour (or so) is the key to a very successful celebration.

A truly great cocktail hour depends on some key ingredients:  1)  food & drink, 2) music and 3) lighting

Photo by Sarah DiCicco

Photo by Matthew Hollerbush

Rule #1:  Have enough food and drink and make sure it’s accessible.

There is really nothing less enjoyable than standing in line for food or at the bar (unless it’s standing in a receiving line — just sayin’).  It’s great to have food stations, but make sure there are passed yummies as well.

Photo by Barnaby Draper

The same goes for the bar.   To avoid a line forming at the bar, have wine, champagne and maybe a signature drink passed.   The number of bars, bartenders and food stations is dependent on the number of guests.

Photo by Michael Branscom

Rule #2:  Your music should not be loud or too hi-energy during the cocktail hour. Remember, the primary purpose of your cocktail hour is for mingling.  I’m all in favor of really interesting, fun music that steps a bit out-of-the-box, but make sure that it doesn’t overwhelm your guests’ conversation with each other and with you!

from lapisluna.com

Photo by Marie Labbancz

Rule #3:   Great lighting creates great atmosphere.

Enough said.

Photo by Cliff Mautner

Photo by Marie Labbancz

If you’re hosting a great cocktail party, then you can stop here (obviously).   Plan to start kissing your guests goodbye after about three hours.  Otherwise, if you’re moving on to the dinner/dance portion, my favorite length of a cocktail hour (or so) is about 1 1/2 hours.   But make sure you don’t run out of anything!

See you for Part 2 soon!

Let’s go for the easy answer first:  It’s almost NEVER a problem to bring a gift to someone, silly.

To alleviate some of the guesswork for when you should bring a gift, and what kind of gift you should bring, here are a few ‘lil guidelines:

If you are attending a cocktail party at someone’s home or a holiday open house, then a gift, while certainly appreciated, is not mandatory.  It is even less necessary if the cocktail party is being held someplace other than the hosts’ home.

If you are attending a dinner party, then a small gift is probably a good idea.

If you’re just casually getting together at someone’s home for a quick bite, then probably nothing more than a side dish or dessert would be necessary — but please, please, please coordinate any food you bring with the hostess.

Will you be sleeping at your hosts’ home?  Then, by all means, you should bring a gift in appreciation of your hosts’ hospitality.

So, now for the next level of complication – what to bring?

People LOVE to bring wine.   Because I entertain as often as possible, I have a great deal of wine in my basement from my very gracious guests (stored at the perfect temperature, of course!).   I think wine is a perfectly lovely hostess gift for a dinner party or anything other than an overnight stay.

To make things even nicer, consider giving the wine in a wine carrier that your host can use for the next dinner out at a BYOB (we were given wine in a wine carrier almost four years ago and we use it to this day.  And I still remember who gave it to us.) — and maybe a beautiful wine stopper to go with it all.

Gold Hatch Wine Carrier ($10)

• But if you’d like to bring something just a little off-the-beaten-trail, allow me to suggest a few little ideas that will make people feel really appreciated:

Perhaps you could make blueberry muffins and give it to them in a lovely basket tied with a bow — and include a great hot chocolate mix for your hosts to enjoy the next morning.

I LOVE these little Salt and Pepper Shakers – We’ve watched them fly out the door this season.

Are you staying for a day or two?  I think the most wonderful gift you can give someone is the gift of relaxation.   If you’re in Philly, allow me to make a suggestion. Right here on Liberties Walk, we have Spa East — a true urban oasis with the most amazing masseuses and body treatments I have ever encountered.

And here’s the final advice –

If you’re going to bring flowers (and that’s a lovely thing to do), then please bring the vase for them. You can pick up the most amazing flowers at the Beautiful Blooms Boutique just across from us on the Walk (but you already knew that, right?) along with a beautiful vase.

Or, of course, you can choose a different amazing vase or container at the Eclatante Boutique.

Okay, that’s my advice regarding host and hostess gifts.    Have a great time!

Although we absolutely love them, Eclatante’s mission is not just about the major life events like weddings and bar and bat mitzvahs.   We grab every chance we can get to help people have wonderful, memorable and stressfree celebrations, small and large –from dinner parties to birthday parties to neighborhood supper clubs.   So, here’s our first Celebrating in Style Event at Two Paper Dolls Studio in Wayne, PA.   You should come!

Inquiring minds at Philly Mag want to know

Getting married again is a wonderful thing!   Given all the beautiful things that are coming together when people are getting married later in life, we believe that it is a life-changing event worth celebrating well!   Eclatante’s little niche with Later-in-Life weddings is becoming pretty well-known in the wedding circles. Thank goodness, people are finally catching on to how important these events are in people’s lives rather than treating them like there’s omething less-than about one’s last wedding (how silly)!

In Newport, RI (one of my very favorite places to disappear to — you really should go!) the extremely well-read Newport Weddings wedding blog gave their readers our advice on later-in-life weddings.

PS:  For more information about Eclatante’s focus on Later-in-Life weddings (or Last Weddings, as we like to call them), take a look at Special Events Magazine http://specialevents.com/weddings/Retying_the_knot_20070405/index.html

Are You Planning A Second Weddings In Newport R.I.?